Masque of mortality

A scream, heard only by few humans, pierces the night. It carries a promise of pain and death. It has come to hunt and it found its prey in the human child with orange hair. Unfortunately for Ichigo, Rukia is running late... and a hollow strikes a moment too soon.
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The voices stopped. No more screams, no more cries for help, no more cries of pain.

Is it over? The pain in my chest faded away. No more agony, only cold. And silence.

No, it shouldn't be that quiet.

That creature... Hollow. Where did it go? It lured me out. It attacked Karin. And Yuzu. I was too weak. All I could do was jump in front of them. Have to protect. Have to save.

That mask, that white mask was so close. It tore my flesh and feasted on it. Was that all it took? Where did the pain go? I feel... nothing. Empty. Hollow.

No, I do feel. My body. It's heavier; it's hard to move. The weight on my face is unfamiliar.

My flesh... it burns. It stings like when you fall asleep on your hand. It goes numb and in the morning, for a couple of seconds, it doesn't feel like your hand until the blood rushes back and you take control once more. It'll pass before I open my eyes.

Wait; I can't see. Do I have to? Do I really need to? I want this moment of peace... silence... nothing to fear of; just... to be. Exist. In nothingness. Embraced with the everlasting land shrouded in soothing moonlight. Can't I have that?

"Ichi-nii! Give him back, you monster!!"

Don't worry Yuzu. The monster is gone. It took my flesh and my blood. That's what it came for. You're safe now.

"Ichi!!"

She's crying. Her voice is trembling. Don't cry, Yuzu. I'm right here. Why is everything so dark? Come closer. I'm here.

"Yuzu! Watch out!"

Karin.

Fear. There's fear in her voice. Don't. I'll not fail. You don't have to protect her. I'm the big brother. I'll protect you both. I'll always be there for you. We'll always be together. Forever.

"Karin, it's Ichi-nii. He's... he's... That creature took him!"

"Don't think, just run, Yuzu! Run!"

Wait! I'm here! I'm...

"Stay away, monster!"

Monster? Where? Help me protect you, Karin; I can't see. Cry out. I'll hear you. Scream. For me.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

You see; I did protect you. Only one strike was needed. There's blood on my hands; I feel it, I smell it. I slayed the pain in you. You're safe. You'll never feel the pain again.

"Bastard! What have you done to Karin? Karin, come on, I'll run, just get up! KARIN!"

Why would you run? She's quiet. I took her pain away. She's safe.

"Karin! Wake up! I'll run, I'll do anything, just wake up!"

Crying. Again. Sweet Yuzu. I'm here. I'm with you. Always. Let me be there for you...

Your body is so warm in my embrace. You see, it helps. I can't hear your tears falling anymore. Not like I did before. There, there... all better.

I'll always be with you.

The power is flowing through my body. You gave me strength. You're the reason for my existence. I can be the big brother you can be proud of. Sleep now. I'll hold you. I'll be your shield.

The breeze feels so nice; it keeps the heat away. Why is it so hot; like a heavy blanket pressed against my chest? It's hard to breathe. Yuzu, you're clinging to hard; I'm not going anywhere.

My chest is wet. Are you crying again? Your tears are so warm. But they get colder every minute passing by.

Or are those seconds? Listen; Karin is silent. She knows everything is fine.

Footsteps. They're coming closer.

"Ichigo!!"

No. Don't ruin it. Leave it be. It's comfortable... just being. Like this. Free of nightmares.

"Ichigo! Ichigo!!"

It's him. A father should protect his children. He was not here; I was. I protected them; I did what I couldn't do for my mother.

I did it.

He's coming closer; I can hear his heavy breathing echoing through my head. There's something else. A power...

"Wake up!"

Be quiet, you're going to wake up Yuzu.

"Stop playing around; let her go!"

Damn it, old man. Can't you shut up for a minute?! It's over. You're too late to be a hero.

"Listen to me! Listen to my voice Ichigo! I know you're still in there."

What are you talking about? Of course I'm here; I WAS here. Where were you?! Look me in the eyes and tell me how you screwed up. How you failed!

I must see you, must see your face. But there's something on my face; it's sticky. Can't open my eyes. What's this? It's all over my hands too.

"Would you stop fooling around and let her go?!"

Ow! That hurts, you bastard! Is that the thanks I get for keeping them safe – a punch?! That hurt more than usual. Where's your power coming from? Why didn't you use it when needed the most?

"Open your eyes, idiot! Wake UP!"

You have no right to yell at me. You piece of trash!

"Look at what you've done!"

I've done what you couldn't; what you...

Finally I can open my eyes. It's still dark. But my vision is clear. She's here; in my arms. Is she? Is this her?

I know those eyes, staring back at me; empty... lifeless... Brown. Like mine. The hair is wrong, it should be orange, not brown like Yuzu's. ... Yuzu...

"LOOK!"

She's heavy. Her small body, so fragile and... heavy. Almost like dead weight... She's sleeping. Right?

Move, Yuzu. Yuzu. Answer me! Yuzu!

"Can you see?!"

No! That's not blood on her cheek... NO! It's not real! I can wipe it off. See, it will be ok.

Big red stain on her chest... It's not hers, such small body can't have so much blood.

The trail. The trail on the floor. Is that...?

No! No! Karin! Look away! Stop with the blank stare, it's not funny! I'll make everything right again, just stop! Move!

"ICHIGO!!"

Why aren't you calling their names? They're... They're... Call THEM!

"Remember who you are!"

No. Karin. Stop staring. No. Wake up. No. NO!!!

That scream again. Scream of a hollow. Did it do this? Did it took them? When? We were alone. I won.

"Remember ICHIGO!"

NOOO! I don't want to! My life is wrapped in death. My mother. Karin. Yuzu. Oh, sweet innocent Yuzu.

"Remember who you are!"

Stop it! It hurts. Let me hide behind the mask of nothingness, leave me lost in the darkness. ... Let me...

There's the scream again. It screams of my pain and my loss. Failed. It's not important. It's gone. My heart is gone... It's been eaten away...

"If you don't want to I'll force you to remember."

Warmth of the darkness... Voices are fading away, even yours. And mine. Lost. Who am I? Who are you? Let me forget.

"Strike, Engetsu."

That power... Overwhelming power. Where were you hiding it? Who are you?

"Let them go, Ichigo."

Why do you force me to remember? I didn't... I didn't take them. I... I protected them...

Yuzu. Karin. Their blank faces, filled with love even after death, are staring at me. Their dried blood is on my hands. I can see it now.

The blade is falling down. I could move. But... Why should I? I have no reason left to move.

"Forgive me, my son."

Aaaaaah! The pain! My head; it's... it's cracking! The light! It's devouring my soul; it's tearing me... Away... From the comforting oblivion...

"And forgive yourself."

I can see... The truth. The monster I have become. I can see... The man who stands before me, the man in black kosode with the unsheated sword, firmly standing above the bodies of his own daughters... protecting them even in death. That is the man I should've become.

Dad.

The weight of the mask is being lifted, the pain is back. Oh how I wish it to rip my face away. The burden of the heart has returned, destroying the remaining foundations of myself.

There it is. The disgusting form of a disintegrating hollow, mirroring in his eyes. Without hate. He looks upon it without hate. He looks at me without hate...

I was too weak. Again... I'm sorry...